Matthew 22:34-40
In his book “How to Be a Winner and Influence Anybody”, James Merritt cites a Harris Poll from a couple of years ago. People were asked what was most important in life:
56% relationships
21% religious faith
12% making the world a better place
5% a fulfilling career
5% money
We are all looking for relationships and connections in life. As Debbi and I have served churches and traveled, she has conducted unscientific research with leaders in churches. Her insights are a little concerning. You see, we are all seeking relationships yet, many of us…even in the church, do not have relationships. In asking leaders how many friends they have at church, or who would you call to come watch the children at 2am when your spouse needs to be rushed to the hospital; the answers focus (first on the obvious family members), but when family members are not present, which is ever increasing that we are living further away from family in this global culture; many answers typically focused on a person from some social community group, not church group…little league parents, etc.
Everyone is looking for relationships. Look at the friends list on Facebook, My Space, or who you are following or is following you on Twitter. There is nothing wrong with these social-networks, but they do not meet the relationship need we have innately in our lives. When it comes to these social networks, many of us have hundreds of friends, but in reality, we are truly only managing a few relationships. Many social studies have been conducted that discuss the amount of real relationships a person can manage.
Understand, there are different levels of relationships. Our social-network list, can reach the thousands; work lists which might be a small company or a global conglomerate; you have a number of persons you relate to there. You have your family list; your neighbors, your acquaintance list, your friends, and your close friends. The social sciences tell us, most of us can count on one hand the number of people we connect with on a deep personal level that we would consider a dear friend.
Each circle of relationship have a purpose. Keith Ferrazzi, author of “Never Eat Alone” discusses his network list of over 5,000 people that he says will take calls from him. That’s a massive network. However, he goes on to quantify the massive network:
“Today, I have over 5,000 people on my Palm who will answer the phone when I call. They are there to offer expertise, jobs, help, encouragement, support, and yes, even care and love.”
He understands his network, and which persons serve what role in his life.
Life is about relationships. Relationships are about influence. We should surround ourselves with the types of people we want to influence us and we want to influence.
In your spiritual journey, what was a time when you had to overcome some type of relationship barrier?
How does overcoming these types of barriers impact your influence in someone’s life?
Personal Reflection
Who are you influencing with your life?
Think about it. Who is it that you have influence over? There are probably several areas. Are there family members? Friends? Co-workers? Neighbors?
What does this influence look like? How do you impact persons in your circles?
Jesus was and is the great influencer. By His Spirit He calls persons to Himself. He chooses to use us as His vessels. The question we have to ask ourselves is, are we positioning ourselves to be used by Him?
Jesus worked from a motive. You all remember the story in Luke 7, at the end of the chapter, verses 39-50. A woman washes Jesus feet with her tears and hair and anointed Him with perfume. Simon, a Pharisee, in whose home they were in, criticized Jesus under his breath for permitting such a thing from a “woman like that.” But Jesus tells a parable of forgiveness, and then points out how Simon had not exercised appropriate hospitality to Jesus when He arrived. Then, Jesus forgives the woman of her sin and sends her on her way.
His motive was forgiveness of sins both in the Samaritan woman and in this story. We do not possess the power to forgive sins, but we can introduce people to the One who can forgive their sins. Our motive must be pure and certain. We do not influence people just to notch one more score on our evangelism belt. We influence people because we are in relationship with them or desire to be in a relationship with them.
It is important to meet people where they are in life and bring them to where they need to be. This is the importance of building relationships.
Foundational Principles
-God is everywhere and always advancing His kingdom. We must be prepared and involved.
-We must develop relationships with others if we are to influence them for the cause of Christ.
-Prayer is key to seeing God at work and lives changed.
-Telling your story of God is essential (Matt. 28:19-20).
Personal Reflection
In this mobile, global society, do you find it hard to develop relationships?
Does your job have you traveling? Are you new to the area? What is it that is making it difficult to connect?
Connection requires intentionality on your part.
-How many non-Christian relationships do you have?
-How close are you to them?
-How many of your neighbors do you know?
-What would it take to get to know one neighbor or build a new relationship in the next six months?
What is the challenge in your community to make the church inclusive of all people? What would it take?
Personal Reflection
Where is God calling you to share your story? With who?
Take your SPLASH Zone card out again. Now look at each of those names. Do you know where they are on their spiritual journey? Have you been an influence for Christ with them.
There might be other names you would like to add to that card. Let this be a reminder of the influence God would have you to be in someone’s life. Use your influence for Kingdom causes. Use this card as a prayer card to pray for opportunities to influence these persons. If you know they are a believer, then be an influence of encouragement to them on their respective journeys.
SPLASHZone cards can be found at www.splashinfo.com